It started with 25hrs of labor that led to an emergency c-section. Once I could finally hold the little man he went right for the boob. He needed very little encouragement and latched on right away. It was a bit of a shallow latch, but he was only an hour old so I was patient and let him learn. He nursed for several minuets and fell right to sleep in my arms. I loved every single second! My sweet baby was finally here, and he was latching on, things were going great! I decided to avoid pacifiers for as long as I could, I wanted him to learn to nurse well before I gave him other things that might confuse him. Little did I know, those things weren't going to make the cut anyway so it wouldn't have mattered. We did a lot of skin to skin and nursing at the hospital and after a couple of days we finally got to go home. I learned the hard way (as in he screamed at me for what seemed like hours until I washed it off) that he HATES lanolin, so I used coconut oil instead. My milk came in on day 3. It leaked all the time, everywhere. I was covered in milk, he was covered in milk, my clothes, his clothes, the bed, the couch, the floor, the rug...there was sticky breast milk everywhere! Thankfully I had purchased a pair of bamboobies while pregnant. They saved us from the sticky milk that was taking over our life. It didn't take long before I had purchased a whole pile of them!
While at the hospital I talked to a lactation consultant and had gotten some great tips on positions to nurse in, what to look for to make sure he was eating and things like that. I knew I was "supposed" to make him eat then take him off the boob if he fell asleep. The problem with that for us was that he liked to nurse in his sleep. So I decided it would be okay because I wanted to get a good supply of milk established and he wasn't happy with being taken off the boob unless he unlatched himself. He would eat, sleep, suckle, wake, and eat some more all right there doing skin to skin at the boob. I wore him in a sling and various other baby wearing devices so I could do things like grocery shop. In the car I would give him a pacifier, that didn't last long though. He wasn't impressed with any of the 10 different types of pacifiers I gave him. Which resulted in him screaming until he was out of the seat and back on the boob.
At bedtime for the first two months I would nurse him, lay him in his bassinet to sleep, and when he would wake up I would change him, nurse him and repeat until morning. I was exhausted, but before the little man came into my life I was very firm about not co-sleeping/bed-sharing. It was fine for the first couple months to have my baby in a bassinet beside the bed, but I would not let him sleep in my bed. Yeah...that was a great rule to have until I actually had a baby! Not sleeping and having what some would consider a "high-needs" baby forced me to reevaluate some things. I started researching co-sleeping, in particular bed-sharing. It turns out that when it is done properly bed-sharing is much safer then a baby sleeping in their own space. Of course a lot depends on the parents, the bed, the situation, and a lot on the personality of the baby. For us and our "high-needs" baby it sounded perfect! So during nap time I practiced the sideline nursing position for a couple of days. When I felt comfortable I even took a nap with him. Then one night I was exhausted, all the little man wanted was to be close to me, so I picked him up and laid him beside me. He nursed to sleep, I fell asleep, and we slept for 8 hours! It was amazing! At that point I started putting him to bed in the bassinet, but once he woke the first time (usually around 2-4 hrs later) I brought him to my bed and we slept another 4-6 hours. He could nurse whenever he needed and we both slept much better.
Around 3 months there is a major transition babies go through. Which causes some rough nights. He nursed even more during the day. Which I didn't actually think was possible because he nursed almost constantly as it was. The little man was suddenly having trouble going to sleep, and staying asleep. He hate the bassinet, and wanted nothing but to be held close to the boob if he wasn't latched on. This was a very short phase, it would have been much more difficult had we not read in advance that it was coming. We comforted the little man and did everything we could to help him and his developing brain through the transition. While doing that it eliminated the use of the bassinet all together. He would just lay down beside me when I went to bed.
A lot during those first three months I wondered when it was going to change. I wanted so desperately to be able to lay my sweet baby down somewhere safe while I did things like shower, use the bathroom, get dressed, or even fix something to eat. Never mind cooking, cleaning, or anything "productive" I simply craved proper hygiene and food! Of course it was possible to lay him down, I'm not saying it wasn't, however, he would scream at me until I picked him back up. I could get about 10-20min a day when his dad would hold him, as long as I stayed within a few feet of where he was. This was better then nothing and I couldn't stand to make my sweet baby cry more then he absolutely had to. When I was home alone with him and needed to fix food or do something that required me me not to hold a baby I would do it as quickly as possible and as little as necessary. I knew someday it would be different. Days would go by that I didn't mind at all, other days I was just happy we made it through and that we were one day closer to the little man being happy somewhere else besides only in my arms.
This is how we spent our first 3 months. It was extremely challenging, and at the very same time it was amazingly wonderful! When it would be too much to handle I would try to focus on the fact that had a beautiful, healthy baby that latched on great, I was making plenty of milk, he was eating plenty, and we slept 10-12 hours every single night! I knew I would be able to push through. Many thanks goes to my amazing husband that helped so very much during that time as well. He would come home from a long day at work and cook, clean, do laundry, do diaper laundry (did I mention we were cloth diapering), take the baby so I could shower and have a tiny break, bring me chocolate and make sure I was eating, make me ice water and watch whatever show I wanted on tv. He was and is simply wonderful! If the little man was having trouble going to sleep (during the transition phase) he would take him for walks at 10pm up and down the street even though he had to be awake at 4am for work. Those first few months were challenging and wonderful for all of us! I am here to say it has been very much worth it and it really does change quickly.
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